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about

this is a compilation made out of all the individual maxi-single songs i released as richard was airs and roses. many people seemed to vibe with these songs so i figured it was way more compelling and organized to feature those five loose tracks on the always friendly format of a full-length project & i'm very happy with how it turned out. i kept the individual song poems too, you can read those on the info of each single track. i'm purposefully releasing this today - march 31st as i write this - since it's my little sister gabriela's 6th birthday. for six years now she's been my kindred spirit, my little human shelter, my spiritual strength, my inmost light & the love of my life. this compilation is exclusively dedicated to her. happy birthday, sweetie.

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released March 31, 2017

artwork photo taken by my good friend pedro teixeira, in his house, with his cellphone & his stuffed love emoji covering my awkward face

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ラファエル Coimbra, Portugal

ध्या में रमण

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Track Name: ever since my staying i've been having bad dreams
i wish i was
miranda cosgrove
taller
carl sagan
thom yorke
friederich nietzsche
jake gyllenhaal
bruno tavares
marvin gaye
her beautiful pearls
bruce springsteen
a decomposed body
fernando pessoa
fyodor dostoievsky
my history teacher
a kind elderly man
a norwegian nomad
a better-dressed man
a combed pic-perfect coiffure hairdo
one of the bad seeds
mr. cave himself
a giant male genital
kanye west
the sign of sun in the morning
that happy woman outside
joseph gordon-lewitt
a black man in america
a starving african child
a homeless man anywhere
how i wish

sincerely,
undefined
Track Name: it gets better just wait and you'll see
i climbed a big red tree
don't go anywhere
i want to see you
mother i'm hungry
anything will do

it's just perception
and how faint it can often be
it's the scent of comedy
and it's how much I want to be free
or just be
what's me?
what's them?
there's no barrier
there's no restriction or hold

it's just fruition
it ebbs and flows
within & outside itself
so anyway
there was this tree
and the animals were gentle
and the people were kind
and it was warm that day
Track Name: whenever i see you i get tremendously sad & my legs shake & idk why
ginger buttercup
"silence" by scorsese
three in the morning as we...
...as we strolled, drifted,
stumbled our way home

you were tired, so was i
you were on your period but
jodorowsky told me blood is sacred
during the afternoon at the theatre
and then your nagging friend
and did it feel forced
or plainly chemical

now i see you every day in college
tall, well-dressed, suited for love
and i sit next to you during anthropology classes
and i just feel empty
yet full and nervous
but quite empty
Track Name: a storm in a teacup or wherever it fits
maybe it was nothing
just a modernly-fashioned movie
a screenplay for pacifists
a manifest for all writers
really just the scent of roses
and all the good things it implies
the urge to counterpoint your routine
and make it all about me
the overthought that comes with it all

so you're always surrounded
and i can never come near you
and you probably hate me
and my dad hates me as well
for the promises i broke &
the cigarettes i stole from companions
but that's alright
i don't blame you or him
- or brothers, even sisters -
i hate myself too

i want to go hitch-hiking with you
though i've never seen a mountain
i want to comb your silky hairlines
or get lost in the depths of your belly
i want to smoke your pudency away
or slit my tongue in your deep-watered folds

i want to do drugs with you
and sing you justin bieber songs
if that's what you really want
or lullabies with my
awful boyish voice

i'll sit here alone
won't go outside
i'll just wait
we'll drop logic at 4pm tomorrow
maybe we can get coffee together
or something
Track Name: i swear i'm a brand new man i'll be the best person i can be
being
so naturally
with no sense of
necessity or will
just pure spontaneity
no overbearing thoughts,
self-doubt or double suicides

it's the sydney motel of
august 2016
the tidal waves
the magical holy
the cosmic souvenir
of giving without being asked
and in the act of giving
finding true love
finding the self
not in its definition [any]
but in its essence

i swear, dear friends & families
i'll be empathetic and good
i won't feel overwhelmed
by anything but the gift of life
i'll wash any dishes from now on
i'll go through the motions
wearing my tahitian shirt
in my best shapeless form